Meditations of a little man...

Today, a taller than average woman from New York asked me (in the way only a gentle New Yorker can), "Don't you feel weird being so short?"

For those who don't know, I am a generous 5'4" without shoes on. I've found that even in Asia this is well below average for a man. But it's a good a question, isn't it? How do I feel being so vertically challenged? To her, I jokingly answered, "It has it's advantages," as we went our separate ways, but how do I really feel? The answer has been different for much of my life (even in preschool I was the smallest), but for some time now my answer is truthfully, "I feel blessed."

My height is a testimony to the wonderful sovereignty of my God. He formed me in my mothers womb and has numbered every hair on my head (Mat 10:30 and good news for those going bald)...I'm pretty sure He knew how tall He wanted to make me. Did I always see it this way? Not at all. As a child, I prayed from kindergarten through all of high school that I would finally hit a growth spurt...but it never came. At least by 14 I had passed up some of the girls! Praise Him! :)

In all seriousness though, God has used this aspect of my life to bring me through many trials, to shape my personality, and to bring glory to Him for his amazing providence. At this point, I would not choose to be taller if I was given the choice. As a child, getting picked on and 'looked down upon' made me ridiculously competitive. Severe Napoleon Complex. Life and every aspect was an opportunity to prove my self. This led me down a path of very few friends and lots of arguments. It wasn't just in sports and academics that I had to be the best, it was life. Pride was my sword and my shield.

But then...like so many before me...the Gospel took hold of my life. I received the call to take up my cross, to die to myself everyday, and to live a life of humble service. I am called to be like Christ. "Whoever says he abides in him (Christ) ought to walk in the same way in which he walked." (1John 2:6) And how did Christ walk...how did the Holy One, the Son of God, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords live his life? Well..."Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the FORM OF GOD, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself NOTHING, taking the form of a SERVANT, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he HUMBLED himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." (Phil 2:5-8) No more profound statement has ever been uttered under the sun. God, Him through whom all things were made and are held together, came to us as a man...and not as a king, but a humble servant, to become sin for us so that we might become the righteousness of God. (2Cor 5:21)

How dare I seek to bring glory myself? Who am I? Praise God for giving me the GRACE of being small. I pray that He will continue to let me work for the greatness of His Name! Like a child riding on their father's shoulders, the lower we are the higher He gets to lift us up :)