Thoughts on Ezekiel

In Chapter 24 of Ezekiel the prophet's book, who wrote at the time of Israel's destruction and exile by the Babylonians, I came across one of those passages that kinda knocks the wind out of you...

The word of the LORD came to me: "Son of man, behold, I am about to take the delight of your eyes away from you at a stroke; yet you shall not mourn or weep, nor shall your tears run down. Sigh, but not aloud; make no mourning for the dead. Bind on your turban, and put your shoes on your feet; do not cover your lips, nor eat the bread of men." So I spoke to the people in the morning, and at evening my wife died. And on the next morning I did as I was commanded. (Ezekiel 24:15-18 ESV)

I have recently been thinking about the lives of the prophet's in Israel's history and about how difficult it must have been for them. It's obvious that these men aren't perfect (just look at Jonah). We can identify with them as fallen men who are called by God to proclaim His truth and praises to a lost world. In our lives and theirs it can often be hard to obey, and hard to continue walking in faith. However, what strikes me as particularly challenging...wow, ok I can imagine Ezekiel hearing me say that, how his life was 'particularly challenging'...Compared to most, I've only faced brief and light trials in my life, and if someone had the audacity to describe my times of pain as just 'particularly challenging' I would probably want to punch them...Maybe I should just say that what must have been impossible without the grace of God for these men like Ezekiel was that they often had to be messengers or deliverers of God's wrath to their own people, and then they often had to suffer alongside these people as God judged their unrighteousness...EVEN THOUGH THEY THEMSELVES WERE PLEASING GOD!
In this passage we see that God tells Ezekiel that He is going to take away the 'delight of his eyes', his wife. What is translated as 'at a stroke' (the way she would die) in Hebrew has the connotation of suddenly, without warning, as though by the hand of God. But why? Why would God take away Ezekiel's wife and then even remove all the ways He can mourn for her? Well, the passage goes on to reveal that it, like other things in Ezekiel's life and prophetic ministry, will be another sign to the Israelites concerning the destruction of their temple...and Ezekiel obeys.
I can't imagine this. I don't want to imagine going through that. God's Word does not reveal everything about His Sovereign will...we don't know all of the Lord's thoughts and purposes in doing this, but He saw it as good and Ezekiel trusted first in the Lord. I have no doubt this was unspeakably painful for him. His wife was the 'delight of his eyes', or the desire, the object of his affection, a beloved, goodly, pleasant, lovely thing (Strong's Dictionary). This, like all other Scripture, should point us to the Cross...to the Gospel. This is not our home, and the Lord's love for His saints is immeasurable and eternal. Praise Him and cling to Him.

death...and the Resurrection

http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/Blog/category/Death.aspx

I just listened to an amazing sermon about the resurrection...about how Easter is also a harsh reminder of the reality of death. I believe this one will stay with me.

This is something I've been thinking about for a while now. How do I perceive death? Why am I still afraid? How do I apply the reality of Christ's victory over death to my heart on a daily basis? Praise God for His provision through this sermon.

I love the Triune God

I LOVE THE TRIUNE GOD. Yes I do.

Abraham

Today I was reminded of the father of our faith, Abraham. I listened to a short podcast celebrating the Advent, and this week's highlight was the story of Abraham, his wife, and their miraculous child.

First, (and maybe a bit off-topic) but I wish I saw every child as a miraculous child. Maybe, hopefully, if I get to the see the birth of my own child, this will be obvious...but what I mean is that I always want to see God giving life as a miracle. I hate that in our time there is so little awe. Lightning, earthquakes, birth, the sun, the moon, shooting stars...everything has been 'figured out'. I'm not saying that science has robbed man of his wonder. That would be a scapegoat. Man's pride has robbed him of this wonder. Our three pound fallen brains are so easily convinced that we have everything figured out...it seems to take a 90 year old barren woman having a son to shock us out of that.

I digress. Abraham's faith. In the history of this world, I'm convinced that there has never been a longer three days than the three days that Abraham journeyed out to sacrifice his son...

Literally thinking of this leaves me speechless.

Perhaps only one other moment in eternity has lasted longer...the moment Jesus drank the cup of God's wrath while hanging from a cross.

This world is filled with awe and wonder. We exist because of it.

Praise God for His incomprehensible Love and Grace.

Hope...and what are our eyes fixed on?

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:1-5

Why does Paul end here on hope? Or better yet, why does God through Paul say that suffering leads to hope. A hope that does not put us to shame. I think it's important to look back a chapter and see how Abraham's faith and hope are spoken of. Romans 4:18 says, "In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, 'So shall your offspring be.'" Also, James 1:2-4 says, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." In this passage God goes from trials and the testing of our faith to perfection and completeness. I believe God has been using this season of my life to refocus my eyes on the Gospel and to deepen my understanding of the relationship between hope, faith, trial, and sin.

Again, why hope? I think this passage, by context and according to Strong's Greek thingy, is relating hope and faith as basically the same thing. So, to recap we have suffering producing endurance, which produces character, which produces hope, which is like faith, which is tested and leads to our completeness in Christ! Yay! Ok...what do we do with that? Well, as most Christians know, faith is important. We take steps of faith, we seek to grow in our faith, we rely on our faith in the Gospel and God's promises, we pray in faith...faith, faith, faith! What is absent here?!.........WORRY, ANXIETY, FEAR. Also, we don't see in these passages God saying, "And you have to focus on your sin! Don't forget your sin!"

OK WAIT! I am in NO WAY saying that we shouldn't concern ourselves with sin, that we shouldn't take sin seriously, that we shouldn't HATE sin, and seek to have it eradicated from our lives! I am saying the exact opposite! Scripture says the opposite! What I'm talking about here very much has to do with sin and comes from a desire to not live in it. Hebrews 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, LOOKING TO JESUS, the founder and perfecter of our FAITH, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Lay aside EVERY WEIGHT AND SIN...RUN WITH ENDURANCE! This is calling us to do something! Something very hard! Otherwise it would be a walk in the park, not an endurance race. However, what are we to fix our eyes on? Our sin? The desire to be pure? The other runners? No...it's Jesus! The author and perfecter of our faith!

How often in my desire to please God, in my desire to be holy, I've let my eyes stray from the Gospel, stray from my hope. And when I have, fear and anxiety creep in. Even those things can seem to motivate us for a while...but not in this long of a race. I believe the only thing that will give me the strength and clarity I need to run this race is looking to Jesus. Looking to Him to transform my sinful desires that corrupt so much. A lot of us, including myself, need a more Biblical perspective of the serious of sin. The way some professing followers of Christ are living, they should read Ezekiel and gain a healthy fear of the wrath of God toward sin. However, I think many of us, again VERY MUCH including myself, have allowed a fear of sin to direct our faith...and I don't believe that's Biblical. I want Jesus to direct my faith. I want to run after Him. I need to be sooo much more often filled with faith and hope in the cross than I do fearing my sinful flesh. haha...even as God seems to be teaching me about this lately...it's hard to type these things. I have had such a tendency to focus on sin in my walk...and because of the abuse of license I've seen some take, I still fear saying anything that would even hint to someone that sin is something we 'shouldn't really fret over'. There are whole movements in the church that think like this! I hate that! But as God continues to grow me, I'm seeing that I must be firmly fixed on Him, and I can't live any longer in fear.

A fearful thing...

Hebrews 10:31 says, "It is a fearful (or dreadful) thing to fall into the hands of the living God." If you would like to know why this is the case, I would suggest reading Ezekiel chapters 5-7. It may be one of the scariest depictions of God's fury. It's hard for me to even write about this section of Scripture because of how seriously furious God is in it. It's nothing to joke about or take lightly...God HATES sin.

Israel, yet again had turned it's back on the Lord their God. "...their whoring heart...over their eyes that go whoring after their idols." And God's response is righteous judgment. While I was reading this I was thinking how hard it must have been to be Ezekiel or any of the prophets that were given the task of comunicating God's wrath to their people...often seeing none change their ways and having to suffer along with their nation. Yet, this is only a shadow of the eternal judgment that is to come...Because in this passage, there is still mercy.

"Yet I will leave some of you alive. When you have among the nations some who escape the sword, and when you are scattered through the countries, then those of you who escape will remember me among the nations where they are carried captive, how I have been broken over their whoring heart that has departed from me and over their eyes that go whoring after their idols. And they will be loathsome in their own sight for the evils that they have committed, for all their abominations. And they shall know that I am the LORD. I have not said in vain that I would do this evil to them."

God is so patient. As a sit here in a computer lab, in a nation of many godless people and idol worshipers, I'm reminded of God's patience...These people and I deserve the same punishment Israel did. "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) I think the biggest mystery is why, oh why, does God love us? Yes, God is love, but He is also Holy. This is not like asking, "Why is water wet?" Because this water, our God, against sin will be steam...a scorching heat that burns the flesh rather than soothes it. I don't know why God loves me, a sinner, enough to send His Son to become sin for me, so that I might become the righteousness of God...I don't know why He chose me from eternity past to call me out of darkness. I have no idea why, but I love Him for it.

The Church...Eph 4

Meditating on recently...

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit--just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call-- one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift. Therefore it says, "When he ascended on high he led a host of captives, and he gave gifts to men." (In saying, "He ascended," what does it mean but that he had also descended into the lower regions, the earth? He who descended is the one who also ascended far above all the heavens, that he might fill all things.) And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. Ephesians 4:1-16

The Sacrificial Lamb...

"And the Lord made for Adam and for his wife garments of skin and clothed them..."
Genesis 3:21

From the first time sin entered into this world, the innocent have been sacrificed to cover the shame of the guilty...How blessed are we to know the final sacrifice, the Lamb of God, who does not just cover, but takes away the sins of the world. I can't even begin to comprehend the love of our Father.
He made us special, set apart from the rest of creation. Everything else was created from His unsearchable imagination...but we were made in His image...in the very likeness of the One who has always been. And when we, His most precious creation, rebelled and wanted nothing to do with our Creator...He sacrifices for us the One who has been one with Him from eternity past. His Son.

I love the Psalms...God's Word is amazing.

Meditations of a little man...

Today, a taller than average woman from New York asked me (in the way only a gentle New Yorker can), "Don't you feel weird being so short?"

For those who don't know, I am a generous 5'4" without shoes on. I've found that even in Asia this is well below average for a man. But it's a good a question, isn't it? How do I feel being so vertically challenged? To her, I jokingly answered, "It has it's advantages," as we went our separate ways, but how do I really feel? The answer has been different for much of my life (even in preschool I was the smallest), but for some time now my answer is truthfully, "I feel blessed."

My height is a testimony to the wonderful sovereignty of my God. He formed me in my mothers womb and has numbered every hair on my head (Mat 10:30 and good news for those going bald)...I'm pretty sure He knew how tall He wanted to make me. Did I always see it this way? Not at all. As a child, I prayed from kindergarten through all of high school that I would finally hit a growth spurt...but it never came. At least by 14 I had passed up some of the girls! Praise Him! :)

In all seriousness though, God has used this aspect of my life to bring me through many trials, to shape my personality, and to bring glory to Him for his amazing providence. At this point, I would not choose to be taller if I was given the choice. As a child, getting picked on and 'looked down upon' made me ridiculously competitive. Severe Napoleon Complex. Life and every aspect was an opportunity to prove my self. This led me down a path of very few friends and lots of arguments. It wasn't just in sports and academics that I had to be the best, it was life. Pride was my sword and my shield.

But then...like so many before me...the Gospel took hold of my life. I received the call to take up my cross, to die to myself everyday, and to live a life of humble service. I am called to be like Christ. "Whoever says he abides in him (Christ) ought to walk in the same way in which he walked." (1John 2:6) And how did Christ walk...how did the Holy One, the Son of God, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords live his life? Well..."Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the FORM OF GOD, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself NOTHING, taking the form of a SERVANT, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he HUMBLED himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." (Phil 2:5-8) No more profound statement has ever been uttered under the sun. God, Him through whom all things were made and are held together, came to us as a man...and not as a king, but a humble servant, to become sin for us so that we might become the righteousness of God. (2Cor 5:21)

How dare I seek to bring glory myself? Who am I? Praise God for giving me the GRACE of being small. I pray that He will continue to let me work for the greatness of His Name! Like a child riding on their father's shoulders, the lower we are the higher He gets to lift us up :)

oops...

Something I find wonderful about walking with Christ, is looking back over the ground we've tread, and seeing what He has lead me through. Usually, we can't see too far forward, which is also wonderful but often frustrating for us humans (trust issues usually) :)

As I look back over these last four years, from when my relationship with God began to take off (at least as far as I could notice...cause God set me apart before I was born Gal 1:15), I see a HUGE mistake that God has been redeeming me from. Like all mistakes, this was a result of my sin. But thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! Because there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ! (Rom 7-8) Amen.

But here's how I see it. When I was first introduced to really studying God's Word, mining through the passages for those Gospel truths that transform lives via the Holy Spirit, I fell in love. I fell in love with God's Sovereignty, His Power, justification, sanctification, building up the body through encouragement toward godliness, sacrifice, discipline, and so much more! I had been given riches the world seemed to know nothing of! But...through my sinful flesh, I began to love these 'things' and aspects of God apart from their creator and source. The essence of idolatry.

The problem with idolatry, apart from it being a sin our God despises (see commandment I and II of the ten Ex 20), is that as much as you can love an idol, or anything apart from the God who is and made love, it can't sufficiently love you back. You will be disappointed, you'll come up dry, you will not be satisfied! Created things, as much as they may be made in the image of their creator, aren't supposed to be loved (actually they can't be loved 1 John 4:7-21) apart from their creator.

For me these truths from God's Word, these disciplines, this knowledge, changed my life. And rightly so! It freed me from the bondage of the lies I was living in before, and I wanted more! Well, time passes and my pride becomes bigger. I was trusting in the knowledge of God and godly things...but not completely in God, not in His acceptance of me through the blood of his Son...and I began to notice. The pride was apparent. So what does any good Christian do when they find sin? Nip it in the bud! Get it out! Let's get on to holiness people! :) I say this with sarcasm while acknowledging that we MUST passionately fight our flesh and seek holiness by His grace. But anyways, like many Christians, I decided to begin burning the idols...However, it's much easier to tear down an alter to a false God, than it is to tear out the sin in one's heart that lead us to that idol in the first place. I'm not saying I stopped reading the Word, quit praying, quit encouraging...but I became very suspicious of myself, my actions, and all this "knowledge" I had acquired. Anyone who knows me well will verify this. Instead of addressing my heart with God and trusting Him to refocus my heart on to Him (which is what I wanted) I thought I had to get rid of stuff for that to be possible.

There's probably a lot more that could be said about all this and what has been going on in my heart (the pride, the fear, the GRACE! etc), but I'll just end by saying how thankful I am for God's amazing grace and will in my life. Praise Him for teaching me to love Him, so that I'm able to love, use, and serve the things that are from Him.

Encouragement

Micah 7:18-20 -

18 Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity
and passing over transgression
for the remnant of his inheritance?
He does not retain his anger forever,
because he delights in steadfast love.
19 He will again have compassion on us;
he will tread our iniquities underfoot.
You will cast all our sins
into the depths of the sea.
20 You will show faithfulness to Jacob
and steadfast love to Abraham,
as you have sworn to our fathers
from the days of old.

There is a real battle that must be waged against condemnation and guilt. They have no part of us. To dwell there is to be outside of Christ. For there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. [Romans 8:1-2].

I wrote neither of these things. They were told to me and have been very encouraging.

So, I believe I'm going to begin writing more here. Not because I have more to say, but because I'm less afraid of saying it. Relating to the last post, God has showed me that in my fear to not be prideful and needlessly push others away or create rifts within the Body of Christ, I've just shut up and decided I shouldn't say something unless I'm completely positive of it's truth, relevance, and the fruit that would come of it...talk about struggling with pride. Anyways, God has been giving me a lot more strength of conviction and removing my fears that I'll be wrong, offend someone, or change my mind. Those things will happen, I apologize in advance. Praise God

Stuck?

Do you ever feel stuck? I've been feeling stuck recently in a place that probably seems pretty ridiculous to be stuck in. 'I want to love the Lord and serve Him with my whole life.'

Isn't that where we are supposed to be stuck and never want to get out? I guess that's not exactly what I mean then. I was convicted today as I was thinking about this. If my goal is really what I said above, but something seems to be hindering me from that...then I have something else that is conflicting with that goal. In the case I'm talking about, I think it has been a desire in some way to please man above my Father. Paul says in Galatians, after laying into them about false preachers, "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." Paul says in Corinthians, "To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law." But Paul was not saying compromise your allegiance and service to Christ for anything. Christ comes first. Loving God comes first.

I think we get in trouble, or at least I have, when we cloud THE goal with fears of somehow hindering our secondary goals and desires, even if that is seeing the lost accept Christ. I've let these fears, of losing the secondaries get in the way of doing the primary, through which everything else is born from.

God's Temple

I read Ezra the other day and am reading Nehemiah right now. They are both encouraging books about God's provision and sovereignty. He wanted the temple and Jerusalem to be rebuilt, so they were. What could a King or army do against the God of creation? Nothing.

Besides just being encouraged about God's sovereignty and the fact that He is for us who love Him whom He has called, I saw a connection between God's temple in Israel and the Church. As the temple/a temple of the Holy Spirit, It's clear that God wants us built up as well. But like Israel, who's sin lead to the destruction of the temple and their exile, just as God had promised it would, when we sin and follow our flesh we are essentially working for the destruction of the temple. At best I think this delays sanctification, and I don't really want to know what the worst is. However, again like Israel, God is not hindered. What its the destruction of Solomon's temple compared to the temple of Christ which was torn down and raised up for eternity in three days. Even our sin brings about the fruition of His will and the true temple still stands forever.

His ways are above our ways and His will is unstoppable. I for one am glad I'm on His side.

2012

I was thinking about the end of the world today. It's a pretty sobering topic. We've probably all been asked, "What would you do if you knew you would die tomorrow?" Probably gave some deep or not so deep answer and moved on assuming we've still got a good 50 years or more.

Those apostles, they always seemed to think the end was coming before the weekend. I was mulling over that today. Jesus said that only the Father knows the time, He talked about the signs, He even said he wouldn't return until every nation heard the gospel...so what was with all the end times stuff? Paul even told people, making clear that it wasn't a command from God but just his wise advice, they should just remain as they are when they were called to the faith. Unmarried, married, slave...whatever. "...the time has grown very short...For the present form of this world is passing away."

Was Paul wrong? 'God's time is not our time, he is not late in fulfilling his promises as some consider it. One day is like 1000 years and vice-versa.' I think I'm ok with that...but if I got to the end of my life nearly 2000 years ago, hadn't married, lived like every day was my last...then came to find out we still had about 100 generations to go before the end, how would I feel?

Then I saw the trailer for the movie 2012... It's one thing to consider your own mortality, but the above question is a little different than, "What if you knew that everyone was gonna die tomorrow...or next year." Hmm...then I looked around my room and began thinking of what my life is full of. How much would I still care about if this were the case. Those souvenirs in the corner...my degree...possible vacations in the future...learning piano? I think I would have bigger concerns while facing the Apocalypse. Maybe that's what it was really about for the apostles...they probably were aware that they had no idea when Christ would return, but I bet they wasted a lot less time living like it was tomorrow.

Truth

God is. There is a design, and there is a Designer. He is good beyond comparison and beyond comprehension. He is light. He brings sight to a blind eye, and understanding to a dull mind. I will continue to praise Him and trust Him. What more can I do?

Tokyo Adventure!

I arrived in Tokyo on Friday at 2:00pm after a six hour bus ride from Nagoya. At the bus stop, I met my friend Erika, who I hadn't seen for over two years. We met during my Summer Project at Disney World in the summer of 2007. It was so awesome seeing her again! We then made our way to Asakusa, where we met Nicole and Abby and checked into our 'capsule hotel'.

After this we spent about an hour and a half browsing the markets at the temple. Then off to Tokyo Disney!!! Pirates, Splash Mountain, Electric Lights Parade, Space Mountain, Fireworks, Halloween Parade (Banzai Villains!), Haunted Mansion, Peter Pan....and then we called it a night.



The next two days were filled with site-seeing, views from huge buildings, crazy outfits, hectic train stations, and the longest most tiring search for two lost bags of souvenirs. If you go to Tokyo, I suggest not leaving anything on the subway...But God provided!

The weekend was so jam-packed, so now I'm taking a vacation from my vacation, and thinking about how amazing God is. We went to church on Sunday and met some great people. He provided for me when I lost all my souvenirs (I was pretty much resigned to not getting them back...but He's just graceful like that), and he allowed me to see my friend who I believe He continues to pursue with his Grace. Pray that the Gospel would transform Japan and Erika!

amazing, Amazing, AMAZING DAY! My Korean American Friend got BAPTIZED!!!! Along with a Chinese student, two Japanese students, and a Japanese couple who have been married for 25 years! Their daughter shared the gospel with them!

How awesome is the Lord most high....

Sunday...was...awesome

At church a Christian dance group from Korea (Mentor) came. These people were so amazing! They travel around the world sharing the gospel and break-dancing... haha, wow! They did a dance, kinda along the same lines of the lifehouse, expressing the Gospel that ended with Jesus break-dancing...you don't know how powerful that is til you see it : ) Afterward we went out to eat with them.

I have been so encouraged since yesterday! JESUS is SO AMAZING! He loves us...

Despite all this weeks aparent blessings, despite my secure position in the safest refuge in the universe, despite a new life filled with hope and love...I have not been happy today.

Monday: Went to a special Church service and had a great time. I was encouraged by the worship, the people, being in God's presence, and seeing God work in the life of a girl who's searching. It was great.

Wednesday: Got to share the gospel at a lunch-time discussion group with some Japanese people...best moment of the week. It really is amazing news, and I need to hear myself say it much more often.

Friday: Encouraging conversation with some American friends about our Father.

My God, He is so good to me. I hate forgetting. I hate feeling distant.

Going to Mass now : )

Good news

"I love when I have something truly worth sharing."

Wow, 3 seconds ago that is how I began my post...then it dawned on me how blind I must be if that were my attitude. How can a messenger of the Gospel EVER feel like he has nothing worth sharing? I'm sorry.

It's been a while since I've written. I would like to share how the Gospel is transforming life here.

There is an American Korean girl here who, I believe, will be a sister very soon. : ) She has grown up Buddhist, but has gone to church with Korean friends in the states from time to time. "I could never understand how they could spend so much time in church," she once told me. Apparently Korean Christians are pretty intense. Anyways, she has been interested in Christianity though and has been coming to Church here in Japan. God has clearly been after this girl! We went to a special service together this afternoon, and it was so good. She is right on the verge of giving her life to the Lord! Please pray she would!

Tingle...and Tink

Take a ride on the mighty lion
Take a hold of the golden mane
This is the love of Jesus
So good but it is not tame...

I like when things stir my insides. For example, I was listening to 'Little Boy Heart Alive', a song today by Andrew Peterson, http://www.andrew-peterson.com/players/farcountry/thefarcountry.html and when I heard these lyrics...it felt nice.

I don't really understand these little tingles in my heart. For one, I've felt them while reading the Bible, listening to music, watching fireworks (ok Wishes), looking at nature, and even while watching Peter Pan...yep. Anyways, I'm not quite ready to claim that these feelings (and by feelings I don't mean emotions, I mean something I tangibly feel) are revelations of the Spirit indicating the goodness or truth in something...again, Peter Pan...I mean but seriously, he's lying there completely defeated and hopeless, but then Wendy kisses him and he starts glowing... For a manlier example think the last scene of Lord of the Rings

Whatever, I like happiness. Now I know there's a distinction between 'happiness' and 'Biblical Joy'...but all I'm trying to do is thank God for the tingle.

Yes!...

Would you like in on a secret...who doesn't like secrets? I'll tell you who......I don't! You know why?! Because the last thing in the universe that should be a secret is unknown to sooo many people!

God, the Creator of ALL, Alpha and Omega, Supreme High King, Rock of Ages, Lover of selfish sinners...is the most amazing, patient, loving, caring, creative, beautiful 'being' (for lack of better word) there is!

Did you know that since I began to follow Christ with true conviction, He has never left me alone. And of course I'm including the most important implication of that:

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

But I also mean that I have never been without the immediate and available support of many brothers and sisters in Christ. never. not once.

Even in Japan! Less than 1% Christian in this country. There are 8 CITIES here (roughly 50,000 people in them) that don't have a single church. And there are about 150 foreign exchange students from 20 different countries in my program. I probably know (from live with to have met briefly) about 120 people...very rough estimation. You know how many are Christians? So far about 40! First week here, I meet three Christian guys, and we've been meeting every weekday morning to encourage each other. As of today I've met 7 other people in my program who are Christian, 5 of who I went to Church with today! Between two different churches I've met at least 30 other Japanese, New Zealand, or Australian Christians of all different ages. AND the one close Japanese friend I've made who isn't a Christian came to Church with me, for the first time in her life! WHAT!? IS HE FOR REAL!!?

YES! Why in the world do we still keep that a secret?!

Update

It has been a while since I've written.

Summary: God is still God (a very good one), I've lacked a lot of discipline and passion, I'm still His son and "His steadfast love endures forever..."

So, the last week and a half have been filled with class, hanging out with my host family, and trying to stay connected to the Holy Spirit to strengthen me and lead me. The last one has unfortunately been difficult...which has consequently made everything else more difficult. BUT all is not lost! Honestly, things aren't as bad as my opening comments may make you think. I have been immeasurably blessed in this time too. People at home continually encourage me (I would name you all, but you know...could leave one out...people could get upset : ) ). My host-mom telling me that I'm a 'real Christian'...that made me smile. And I have been connecting with God more in prayer!

I had a talk with a Japanese girl who gave me a campus tour during orientation about prayer...interesting considering that we know each other's language at about the level of a 3 year-old (actually, I would love to be as fluent as a 3 year old). It was good though!

Church on Sunday was also really good. I had lunch there after the service and hung out with my friend from school and the pastors son and grand-daughter for most of the rest of the day. They're a lot of fun and help me with Japanese!

true

"...I think the best thing that can happen to us is to be 'found out' for all that we are, our religious and human pretenses stripped away to reveal our sin, pettiness, and weakness. Then we can devote our energies to better endeavors than the constant masquerade of sufficiency. The added benefit is that people are able to see how God's grace works in a real person's life. When we come clean about our brokenness, Christ becomes the star of our testimony and not us."

God is いいね...(good)

Yesterday (Saturday) was a rough day...but today has been great!

...my soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is; so I say, "My endurance has perished; so has my hope from the LORD." Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. Let him sit alone in silence when it is laid on him; let him put his mouth in the dust-- there may yet be hope; let him give his cheek to the one who strikes, and let him be filled with insults. For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men
(Lamentations 3:17-33 ESV)

Yesterday, I was suffering, and I felt that I was under God's wrath and separated from His love (clearly a lie)...I know I am no longer an object of God's wrath by the blood of Christ who became sin so that we might become the righteousness of God...no, what's worse is that as his adopted son, I can now become an object of my Father's grief. I grieve the Father with my lack of faith and sin.
These verses have been an encouragement to me. I have found that my passion and zeal for the God has diminished since the spring, and I know that God wants to build and refine me. This may be my time to wait on him...

Oh, today was great because I went to my first Japanese Church! It's only about 7 min away by bike, and the people there are were great! I couldn't understand a thing...but we sang 'Praise God from whom all blessings flow' in Japanese!

Getting into the swing...

It is currently Thursday @ 6:00pm in Japan, and I think it's time that I write about my week.

Today was our first official day of classes! Basically, it was syllabus day...but it was refreshingly good. In the morning, when I got off the train I saw a guy from England that I met the day before. I actually met him during a discussion/prayer time I was having with two other Christian guys that I had met earlier. The guy from England isn't a Christian, but he just joined our little table as we had our Bibles out. I hope we can continue to meet in the morning to pray and encourage each other. So, this morning I walked with him from the station to camps and hung out a bit (talking about accents and such).
After Japanese class, I had lunch with a couple of the people from IU and a girl we met from Manhattan. I need to pray for them...and for boldness. I want to love them, and express it. After lunch had two more classes, that i think will be good. Looking forward to tomorrow!

よっかた！

Yesterday was a great day. Not only did I feel blessed by more of God's presence (his goodness and blessings were much more apparent), but I also had a lot of fun with my host-family. On the way back from a walk, where I spent about 45min in a little grocery store looking at everything, I saw my little brothers and their dad at a park. There were about 50 kids running around, playing soccer, throwing a baseball, riding bikes, or playing on the playground...and this was not a big park. Anyways, I stopped and was watching Hiroya (dad) throw the ball with Satoaki (10yr old son), and after a bit they let me join in! So we played there for about half an hour while Yuki (8yr old son) played soccer. Then we walked home, and I thought we were calling it a day, when everyone got on bikes and said we were going to the school. There we played baseball until it got dark and went home for a fried chicken dinner! (with rice of course)

Sept 4

I can’t believe today was only the third full day. I’ve had two days of orientation at Nanzan University, which have been a little too drawn out, but today was better. No test and we actually got to interact with Japanese students. I went on a tour of the university with a girl from New York named Wendy, and our guide was a student named Eri. It was fun, but it showed me how horrible my Japanese really is. My listening comprehension is pretty bad… Anyways, it’s almost nine, which seems to have become my bed time here (jet lag hasn’t been too bad… I just seem to be really drained by the time dinner is over). Oyasuminasi! (Good night)

Konnichiwa! I’m in Japan!

Quick update: My host family is really awesome! The mom is pretty good at English, but she has been so patient in explaining things in Japanese. Yesterday we had sushi for dinner when I got back from the airport and it was awesome (though Melissa would have gagged). I like the food already, but it is expensive! Having lunch today with my host mom was over $20! And it was just a little Korean place in the mall! Anyways, I should be studying right now…cause I remember very little Japanese right now (and I’m already sick of my mind thinking of Spanish first).

To the East

I'm only hours from leaving these United States for the land of the rising sun (Japan). I need lots of prayer...

I believe God has a lot for me to learn and experience and do in this time. I pray that I'm open to his leading. I have not exercised much faith this summer and their have been consequences, but our Father is merciful and works all things for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28).

Test...1,2,3

First blog...weird